sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
