You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
