What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
