god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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