are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
