Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
