no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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