ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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