Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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