You're a womanizer and a bitch.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
