Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
