that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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