Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
