I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
