new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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