people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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