I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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