OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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