There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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