do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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