I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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