I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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