Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
