So many bounce houses so little time
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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