so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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