Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
