Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
