I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
