Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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