I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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