her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
