guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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