Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
