You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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