is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
