i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
