THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
