Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
