she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
