What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
