i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
