You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
