there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
