i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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