I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
