Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
