the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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