If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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