im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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