he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
